CORPORATE CORPULANCE

Freelancing again. Eating like a day-jobber. When food is free, I go nuts! Yesterday my awesome editor brought me delicious baked treats from her local bakery: a ginger pear muffin and a savory/spicy potato bareka. Both huge. Both unnecessary. Both consumed with all the grace of a Tazmanian Devil. At lunch I did no better: outrageously portioned bento boxes from Haru -- the whole shebang: soup, salad, california rolls, rock shrimp tempura, teriyaki tofu, rice, mild ensuing dyspepsia.

Today I think she had it in for me: THREE treats from the bakery: the most delicious blueberry scone ever, just bursting with giant fresh berries and not the least bit dry, a strawberry mango muffin that seemed obscene when it revealed its pink moist middle, and a bacon cheddar scone that taunted me so hard after I left it on the plate that I ate it all up as a form of punishment. People: I ate three breakfasts! For why? 'Cause it was DELICIOUS and FREE and EFFIN' GOOD! Killed by kindess is totally the way to go!

Lunch was vegetarian: we ordered from Gobo, which is supposed to be healthy but when you're a Plate-Cleaner of the Highest Order "health" is a moot point. My stir-fried veggie noodles and tofu egg-rolls had all the nutrition of a ham sandwich and about as much oil as a mid-east war zone, but I ate it up, yum. I have a private reputation to uphold!

Now I'm sitting on a black leather couch, sleepily digesting, thinking about my next meal. This is what it means to be a machine...What am I if not a fat cog in the wheel?