Wednesday, November 22, 2006


I am a dumb-dumb. I am almost exactly like Tweedle-Dumb. I am Re-Tar-Tar Binks, only I live in this galaxy. What I'm saying is: I am not smart.

I was really hungry and had to grab a super-quick dinner and the two friends I was with had already eaten so they didn't want to sit and it's hard to eat quick and not sit unless it's McDonald's or pizza and I don't eat McDonald's and I didn't want pizza so when we passed a Subway I said "Fine! I'll eat fucking FRESH!"

So I went up to the counter and ordered a sandwich and here is what I said: "I'll have a six-inch whole wheat...with TURKEY, please."

I ate a turkey sandwich. The night before Thanksgiving. That may not be a big deal to you, but it is an excruciating error to me. I mean, of all the things to eat, before, you know, I eat! It's like prepping for a coma by taking a nap. Or listening to a very poor cover band before seeing the original perform live (I am SO NOT INTO THAT!).

I ate an insulting, unnecessary approximation of "turkey" not 15 hours before I'll be eating the Real Deal. With sides.

Bonehead! Numb-nut! Lame-brain! TURKEY!


Blogger jim said...


3:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Such wisdom...... Really goes to the essence of her sentiments, doesn't it?

11:21 AM  
Anonymous Ben said...

That isn't Turkey. It's got bubbles in it. Turkey doesn't have bubbles in it... Well unless you stuff it with Michael Jackson's

Then it's like Turducken.

11:43 AM  
Blogger Brianna said...


3:32 PM  

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