Wednesday, November 22, 2006

NICE ONE, POINDEXTER

I am a dumb-dumb. I am almost exactly like Tweedle-Dumb. I am Re-Tar-Tar Binks, only I live in this galaxy. What I'm saying is: I am not smart.

I was really hungry and had to grab a super-quick dinner and the two friends I was with had already eaten so they didn't want to sit and it's hard to eat quick and not sit unless it's McDonald's or pizza and I don't eat McDonald's and I didn't want pizza so when we passed a Subway I said "Fine! I'll eat fucking FRESH!"

So I went up to the counter and ordered a sandwich and here is what I said: "I'll have a six-inch whole wheat...with TURKEY, please."

I ate a turkey sandwich. The night before Thanksgiving. That may not be a big deal to you, but it is an excruciating error to me. I mean, of all the things to eat, before, you know, I eat! It's like prepping for a coma by taking a nap. Or listening to a very poor cover band before seeing the original perform live (I am SO NOT INTO THAT!).

I ate an insulting, unnecessary approximation of "turkey" not 15 hours before I'll be eating the Real Deal. With sides.

Bonehead! Numb-nut! Lame-brain! TURKEY!

4 Comments:

Blogger jim said...

Relax.

3:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Relax"?
Such wisdom...... Really goes to the essence of her sentiments, doesn't it?

11:21 AM  
Anonymous Ben said...

That isn't Turkey. It's got bubbles in it. Turkey doesn't have bubbles in it... Well unless you stuff it with Michael Jackson's
chimpanzee.

Then it's like Turducken.

11:43 AM  
Blogger Brianna said...

"Re-tar-tar-binks"
Hilarious!

3:32 PM  

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