GAY BIRTHDAY CAKE
I've been freelancing for LOGO, the "gay MTV" for the past week, and believe me, it's no empty promise that this is a gay network. I've found the LGBT community pretty well-represented in all my cable TV jobs, but at LOGO, I would say the ratio is 30:70 hetero:homo. Maybe even more like 5:95. Basically, if you're at all homophobic, LOGO is not the work environment for you -- unless you're okay going home and watching a marathon of Nascar while you drink your "silver bullet" just to Hetero-Up.
But I'm enjoying it, because A) it's very rare that, as a twenty-something, white, female, I'm the minority in any situation, and I think it's valuable to be one sometimes, and B) when the gays have office birthdays, they do it in -- of course -- STYLE!
Yesterday was Matthew's birthday, and he came to work with TWO gorgeous cakes, sent to him by his mother. Both were decorated beautifully; unlike most cakes, all of the frosting was a color that you'd expect to find in nature -- brown, cream, beige, ecru. Not a drop of Red Lake #40. One was a mocha layer cake with chopped almonds and generous frosting, and the other was a chocolate layer cake with no crunchy texture, but a subtle raspberry ribbon.
The difference, though, between this office birthday and the others I've experienced didn't stop at the cakes: Matthew had actual PLATES, and the plates were actually BIRTHDAY-SPECIFIC. Also, he was able to cut the cake with an appropriate KNIFE, not a plastic SHIV that is the ruin of most cakes. And he was able to find this KNIFE immediately -- it wasn't like, "Where's a knife? Who has a knife? Here, let's just spoon some of this garish crapola onto paper towels and eat it with our hands," which, honestly, is what I'm accustomed to, and didn't really have a problem with, until Matthew showed me another way.
The other difference between Gay Birthday Cake and Hetero Birthday Cake is that nobody eats it. At least not at LOGO. Matthew was offering up perfectly proportional slices, easily avoiding getting any onto his vintage Gucci tie, but almost everyone begged off. And then I looked at the people saying no: the two gorgeous male interns who work for free but manage to dress in designer clothes every day and have really great haircuts, and Anthony, the other writer-producer who is basically the Most Handsome Man In Cable, and I realized that they had BEAUTIFUL BODIES and that those BEAUTIFUL BODIES are definitely NOT the result of mainlining buttercream frosting. I was THE ONLY person who said yes immediately and the ONLY person who had not one, but TWO slices of each cake.
I didn't realize I was eating them with my hands until Matthew asked, "would you like a fork? We have plenty." STYLE!
But I'm enjoying it, because A) it's very rare that, as a twenty-something, white, female, I'm the minority in any situation, and I think it's valuable to be one sometimes, and B) when the gays have office birthdays, they do it in -- of course -- STYLE!
Yesterday was Matthew's birthday, and he came to work with TWO gorgeous cakes, sent to him by his mother. Both were decorated beautifully; unlike most cakes, all of the frosting was a color that you'd expect to find in nature -- brown, cream, beige, ecru. Not a drop of Red Lake #40. One was a mocha layer cake with chopped almonds and generous frosting, and the other was a chocolate layer cake with no crunchy texture, but a subtle raspberry ribbon.
The difference, though, between this office birthday and the others I've experienced didn't stop at the cakes: Matthew had actual PLATES, and the plates were actually BIRTHDAY-SPECIFIC. Also, he was able to cut the cake with an appropriate KNIFE, not a plastic SHIV that is the ruin of most cakes. And he was able to find this KNIFE immediately -- it wasn't like, "Where's a knife? Who has a knife? Here, let's just spoon some of this garish crapola onto paper towels and eat it with our hands," which, honestly, is what I'm accustomed to, and didn't really have a problem with, until Matthew showed me another way.
The other difference between Gay Birthday Cake and Hetero Birthday Cake is that nobody eats it. At least not at LOGO. Matthew was offering up perfectly proportional slices, easily avoiding getting any onto his vintage Gucci tie, but almost everyone begged off. And then I looked at the people saying no: the two gorgeous male interns who work for free but manage to dress in designer clothes every day and have really great haircuts, and Anthony, the other writer-producer who is basically the Most Handsome Man In Cable, and I realized that they had BEAUTIFUL BODIES and that those BEAUTIFUL BODIES are definitely NOT the result of mainlining buttercream frosting. I was THE ONLY person who said yes immediately and the ONLY person who had not one, but TWO slices of each cake.
I didn't realize I was eating them with my hands until Matthew asked, "would you like a fork? We have plenty." STYLE!
posted by Megan at 5:13 PM
3 Comments:
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Hey, Megan. I'm new here, having just found your blog by pure chance (had just watched Punch-Drunk Love, and wanted to learn more about the Harry Nilsson song "He Needs Me," and my Google search led me to your Popeye blog entry)... I guess I just wanted to encourage you to keep blogging. I would imagine that you'd
become quite discouraged when most of the replies and feedback to your compositions tend to consist of nonsensical gibberish from the likes of "oakleyses."
Oh, well. Pearls before swine, I suppose. Keep on bloggin', and I'll keep on readin', and a good day to you.
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