Tuesday, November 28, 2006


Is it weird that I was permitted to watch Eddie Murphy's "Raw" as a young child? Is it weird that I thought it was hilarious? Both are true, and I remember watching with my family and laughing especially hard at the "house burger" bit. It's pretty famous, but I'll recap anyway:

Young Eddie wants a McDonald's hamburger, but his mom says that she can make a burger that's better. Eddie can't believe his mom cooks better than McDonald's. His mom rebuts that she's not making McDonald's, she's making "Mama's Burger". So she gets to making it and it's a monster -- she's putting peppers in it, and egg (!), and the burger becomes this fat meatball and looks nothing like McDonald's, and the worst part is there are no round buns so Eddie has to eat the greasy thing off two slices of Wonder Bread, and...this image! the bread turns pink from his fingertips, and then he goes outside to play and his friends make fun of him and taunt him, singing "We got McDonald's!" It is 100% hilarious to me. Maybe because I ate my fair share of "Mama's Burger's" as a kid. But I also ate a whole lot of McDonald's. Therefore: I was keenly aware of the difference between the two.

So anyway: I think that bit and Bill Cosby's "Dad is great...give us the chocolate cake!" are the two best food bits I've ever heard in my life.

And I'm reminded of this because last night I made "Mama's Taco Bell". I don't really eat fast food but let's be honest: it's DELICIOUS, and sometimes I miss it. There's no way I'm going to Run For The Border, but there is a way I'm going to Run To Trader Joe's and Think Outside The Bun. The corporate bun. So I picked up whole wheat tortillas, fat-free refried black beans with jalapenos, habanero/lime salsa, and shredded cheese. Then I went home, put 'em all together, and melted it for about 10 minutes. It was Very Good. Why not great? Because, I think, there was a lot less fat and sodium in my Meximelt than in Taco Bell's, and everyone knows that Fat + Sodium = TCD (Taco Bell Delicious). I mean, I didn't even have sour cream in there (a non-fatal error, but one I will correct next time), and I skipped the meat because, uh, I haven't fried hamburger meat in about 15 to almost-never years.

I think my next fast food copycat act is gonna have to be a Big Mac. It's not that I think I'm better than Eddie Murphy's mom or McDonald's; it's just something I have to do.


Blogger Avner said...

What about Eddie's ice cream bit?

"You can't afford it because you are on the welfare."

Gah gah.

9:18 AM  
Blogger Megan said...

hilarious! both the bit, and that a 3-week-old baby wrote that comment!

11:17 AM  
Anonymous Brendan said...

isn't trader joe's the best place ever?

when i was ten years old, my mother was dating a guy who was high up on the mcdonalds advertising department ladder. he used to bring us bags of frozen chicken mcnuggets, hamburger patties, the 3 section buns for big macs and fries. he even brought over cannister marked "special sauce."

my mother would bake the fries and mcnuggets which deprived them of that important fried flavor, and even with most of the correct ingredients, the big macs we assembled never tasted quite right.

although i once made tacos with the taco bell brand seasoning you can get in the supermarket, and they were quite delicious.

when i really wanted to stuff myself in the past, i'd order a grande meal form taco bell (4 bean burritos, 6 tacos) and i'd throw in a mexican pizza or a chalupa. there's nothing like a fat coma from taco bell.

12:40 PM  
Blogger Fischer said...

first we take manhatten, then we take mcdonalds... i don't like macdo-food!

2:49 AM  
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