Saturday, March 04, 2006

DUTCH OVEN

I am going to Holland, aka The Netherlands, aka Legal-Weed-Central! Now I know the most famous Dutch recipe happens to be Spacecakes, but I sincerely hope to have a more rounded experience with Dutch "cuisine." I mean, can I even call it cuisine? What IS Dutch food? I'm planning on eating something called a Stroopwaffel, which is a funny (aka Dutch) way of saying waffle. Isn't it just that? A fresh waffle? I don't mean to denigrate anyone's culture, honestly, but come on...Dutch food, what the HELL is it?!

One of my older brothers lives in Holland and based on his diet I could just assume that the Dutch live on chocolate and cheese. Not that I have a real problem with spending a week eating chocolate and cheese: I'm a girl and we love that stuff. Historical fact: it's been substituting orgasms for women for CENTURIES! Nevertheless, I have what (only) I would call a SOPHISTICATED palate, and I want to eat more than waffles, chocolate, and cheese.

I know there's supposed to be some good Indonesian food up and in Holland's piece: let's give it up for the spoils of colonialism! I do like Indonesian food, but by eating it I'm avoiding the issue at hand: WHAT IS DUTCH FOOD?!

Come Monday morning, I will find out! And if I come back a toasted-out spaz, there will be no denying what I put in my mouth.

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, not so fast there, Miss America. The waffles you shall find if you head south to a neighborhood of ours called "Belgium". Go there; it's cute. Ask one of your older brothers; he will tell you. As for our food, you can always enjoy the many varieties of Dutch "bread" liberally spread with our wholesome "butter". Yum (?). Then, we would highly recommend our famous Dutch "soup". No further description required. Yes, you do come here. You shall find many enjoyable, and sometimes even edible things to eat. Last but not least: Do learn how to say "beer". It is of course our national food, albeit in handy drinkable form. And one cautionary note. When the menu refers to "surprise meat", we would suggest you might want to pass on that one, except if you are in the mood for an astonishingly interesting evening inspecting many varied local bathrooms. However, enjoy the trip and let us know, OK?

2:32 PM  
Blogger Keir said...

Check it: dutch food. Yummy.

5:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

As you can see by the fine photo illustration, exactly to my point. How does one say "mystery"?

9:50 AM  
Blogger Keir said...

H-e-r-r-i-n-g.

With onions.

4:55 PM  

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