Thursday, February 16, 2006


I hurt my friend's feelings this week. I didn't mean to, but sometimes intention doesn't matter; sometimes it's all about results.

And while I wish I could take back all the ways I hurt my friend, I did learn something very important: when making up, make up over mutually-appreciated delicious food!

It makes the making up easier. It makes the making up better. While you're avoiding eye contact for awhile, you can focus on your perfectly double-fried fries and your mouthgasmly buttered and grilled hamburger bun.

I must warn you that there will be moments where the food will go uneaten. You're at risk of losing your appetite when emotions are high. There was a time during my making up where my glorious cheeseburger remained half-eaten, and it lay cold on its wax paper for a good twenty minutes. And that's saying something for me, the Chief Operating Officer of the Clean Plate Company. As the making up moved forward, I regained my appetite, and the cheeseburger came to a sudden and unfortunate end. Luckily, my friendship did not.

So don't hurt your friends' feelings. But if you do, I recommend a cheeseburger and fries well-done to mediate. Really.