THE SADDEST LUNCH IN AMERICA
I probably deserved what I got; one should be wary when forced to order by number.
Today's L6 Lunch Special from Saigon 48 was only $5.75, but eating on the cheap is starting to make me feel really, really cheap.
My Sauteed Chicken with Mixed Vegetables, Extra Spicy, was just about the most depressed meal I've ever eaten. It came with a "free," unexpected spring roll which made me WAY TOO prematurely excited. I set my expectations WAY TOO HIGH for this freebie, because once it hit my mouth I knew EXACTLY why it was free. All the life had been sucked out of this spring roll! It was dry and devoid of anything resembling freshness or flavor. Saigon 48 basically wrapped up some garbage, flash-fried it THREE DAYS AGO and surreptitously added it to my lunch order today, FORCING me to eat the WHOLE THING because it was FREE and also it was (barely) FOOD. This "spring roll" clearly wanted to commit suicide, and its mission was accomplished inside my mouth.
That should have been enough to put me off the rest of my meal, but being the optimist (read: bonehead) that I am, I forthwith made for my entree. Oh, has there ever been a sadder looking sautee? I suppose the flattened and dejected beige chicken parts doing the dead-man's float in oil-sauce were white meat, but I am honestly not sure what part of what chicken they came from. The only word I can think to accurately describe this meat is FLACCID. It was very FLACCID chicken. Or should I say FLACCID "chicken"? I have a hard time imagining this flaccid flesh EVER belonged to ANYTHING that once was alive and pulsing with energy and blood.
And the vegetables were no better. The only thing the broccoli and button mushrooms and single zig-zag carrot cut-out needed were tiny pairs of black Nike sneakers as further evidence that they had all drunk poison Kool-Aid in a bid to enter some divine kingdom. These veggie corpses DID enter a divine kingdom, but it was my mouth, and the journey was not nearly sublime.
At least the brown rice I ordered was actually brown and actually rice and almost palatable.
Oh lunch! Why didn't you just ask for help? I would have been there for you...I would have told you all the ways to cope and hope and believe. It's too late for you, lunch, and I'm sad for that. It's sadder still that I will go on without you, and forget you were ever a part of my life.
Today's L6 Lunch Special from Saigon 48 was only $5.75, but eating on the cheap is starting to make me feel really, really cheap.
My Sauteed Chicken with Mixed Vegetables, Extra Spicy, was just about the most depressed meal I've ever eaten. It came with a "free," unexpected spring roll which made me WAY TOO prematurely excited. I set my expectations WAY TOO HIGH for this freebie, because once it hit my mouth I knew EXACTLY why it was free. All the life had been sucked out of this spring roll! It was dry and devoid of anything resembling freshness or flavor. Saigon 48 basically wrapped up some garbage, flash-fried it THREE DAYS AGO and surreptitously added it to my lunch order today, FORCING me to eat the WHOLE THING because it was FREE and also it was (barely) FOOD. This "spring roll" clearly wanted to commit suicide, and its mission was accomplished inside my mouth.
That should have been enough to put me off the rest of my meal, but being the optimist (read: bonehead) that I am, I forthwith made for my entree. Oh, has there ever been a sadder looking sautee? I suppose the flattened and dejected beige chicken parts doing the dead-man's float in oil-sauce were white meat, but I am honestly not sure what part of what chicken they came from. The only word I can think to accurately describe this meat is FLACCID. It was very FLACCID chicken. Or should I say FLACCID "chicken"? I have a hard time imagining this flaccid flesh EVER belonged to ANYTHING that once was alive and pulsing with energy and blood.
And the vegetables were no better. The only thing the broccoli and button mushrooms and single zig-zag carrot cut-out needed were tiny pairs of black Nike sneakers as further evidence that they had all drunk poison Kool-Aid in a bid to enter some divine kingdom. These veggie corpses DID enter a divine kingdom, but it was my mouth, and the journey was not nearly sublime.
At least the brown rice I ordered was actually brown and actually rice and almost palatable.
Oh lunch! Why didn't you just ask for help? I would have been there for you...I would have told you all the ways to cope and hope and believe. It's too late for you, lunch, and I'm sad for that. It's sadder still that I will go on without you, and forget you were ever a part of my life.
posted by Megan at 2:06 PM
2 Comments:
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