Wednesday, May 03, 2006

MAKING AN EFFORT

I'm cute but not baby-animal-in-a-teacup cute, so I've got to make an effort, you know? Lately, I've just NOT BEEN MAKING IT. Which is totally okay with me, except I haven't had a haircut in literally a year and I could use a mani-pedi even though I never ever get them and, the worst admission, I've run out of clean clothes and I'm sort of wearing dirty ones and that might not be totally okay with the rest of the world. Including, uh, cute boys? Who I am interested in?

I bring this up because I hadn't really put much thought to the matter of my appearance until tonight, when I ordered food at work and went downstairs to the lobby of the building to pick it up. Delivery guys aren't allowed past the lobby, and I work on the 31st floor, so I always have to ride the elevator down, sign for the food, and ride the elevator back up to my Writers' Cave. Sometimes there are other people in the elevator, and sometimes there are other people in the lobby. I pretty much live in my own world, so I forget this at a rate that can only be described as frequent. Anyway, I picked up my MASSIVE order from La Paloma, a Mexican place I've never tried.

Side note: I may have mentioned that, past 8pm, I'm given a $20 food budget, and $20 goes a LONG WAY at La Paloma. I'm diabolically sneaky (read: cheap) so I use up the $20 by ordering enough food to last dinner, the next day's lunch, and perhaps even the next day's afternoon snack. Who likes Mexican food THAT much? NOT ME! But who likes free dinner, lunch and snack? TOTALLY ME! In any case, after ordering up a giant veggie burrito, rice and beans, and a grilled chicken salad, I still had about $3 left. I checked out the dessert offerings, and plantains were listed at the nice price of $2.50. Bingo!

Okay, so back to picking up my order in the lobby. Where other people are. I was SO hungry that I just couldn't wait to get up to my desk to dig into La Paloma's South Of The Border Goodness. I also lack a certain amount of self-control, or maybe social mores? Perhaps that's it. In any case I knew I'd be starting in on my freebie dinner en route. The thing that was easiest to grab as I walked toward the elevator were the plantains, wrapped in simple tin foil. They were big ol' things, and clearly, horribly phallic, but they smelled amazing and, unlike the other food in the bag, weren't covered in some sloppy sauce. Again, being in my own world, I just grabbed one and shoved it into my piehole. At the exact moment that I did this, a super-cute boy rounded the corner. P.S. I NEVER SEE CUTE BOYS IN THE LOBBY! This one came out of NOWHERE! As I chimmy-chomped on plantain, struggling to get it totally in my mouth, I had what some people might call a "technical". It's when you make eye contact with a guy or girl long enough and interestedly enough to count as having slept with them. It's like you totally check each other out or something. I'll be honest: I am new to the term. But our eyes locked as I choked and chewed, unable to keep my mouth closed because I'd taken too big of a bite. So basically, this cute boy saw me choking on fried, starchy banana mush, cheeks akimbo, eyes tearing from the effort.

Oh, effort! There are so many kinds of you to make!

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cute boys? Plantains?
How about Handsome Men and Banana Splits for a change?

10:08 AM  
Blogger garin said...

megan I don't understand something.. Your good looking,smart and funny how is it possible that that these guys aren't coming to you?? man and I thought atomic core splitting was hard to figure out!! oh maurice says hi too!!!

10:17 AM  
Blogger Matt said...

i got delivery.com down to .01 left 2 days in a row! that's a major accomplishment down here on the 6th floor.

10:27 PM  

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