YOU'RE SO COOL, YOU'RE SO COOL, YOU'RE SO COOL.

I met a friend for breakfast at Cafe Edison today, and as I waited for him I had what I consider to be one of my best celebrity sightings ever: Ira Glass! He was sitting in the corner having a rather animated conversation, and I covertly watched and tried to listen in for a good ten minutes.

Now if you only vaguely know me, you know that even my best attempts at being covert are about as subtle as a fresh turd on a wedding gown. I mean, I was literally STARING at Ira Glass, eavesdropping to the maximum degree. At one point he looked over at me (my laser-vision is scorching hot) and I did that thing that everybody does when they get caught having a look-see: I very quickly looked away at nothing, and pretended that the nothing was just so incredibly interesting. Except for me, the nothing that I chose to look at was the floor, so I had to pretend to be incredibly interested in Cafe Edison's floor for longer than I would have liked.

I was tempted to walk up to Ira Glass and say, in my most charming voice, "Have I got a story for YOU!" but I did not do that because, to be honest, I had no story for him, and also I realized that saying that to him would have been kind of insane and not at all charming. Especially if I had said it and then admitted, "Actually, Mr. Glass, I have no story for you." I am very funny and clever.

My friend arrived and we were seated as far from Ira Glass as the interior design of Cafe Edison would allow, and at this point in my day I am choosing to believe that it's just a coincidence.