AND WHEN SHE WAS TIPSY, SHE WAS VERY VERY TIPSY

Tonight I drank Pinot Bianco from Italy, then Cabernet Sauvignon from California. Tonight I ate an entire portion of suspiciously wet and salty chicken paillard, and then half a serving of Out Of This World sticky toffee pudding with vanilla ice cream. And after all of this tonight I ended the evening by drinking more than my fair share of suspiciously icy sangria. Don't get me wrong: it was a really good night! Until!

As I walked my friend to the subway a guy passed and tugged on my sweater. He was walking with a girl, and I turned around to give him a look. The look said: "Uh, what was THAT about?" The guy: he caught my look but continued his walking, but as he did he kept looking at me, and, this was so weird: his girl looked at me, too. I gave another look. This one politely asked: "What. The. Fuck?" It was enough of a look that the guy: he turned back around, and, with his girl, approached me. Of course I got nervous. "Do I know you?" I asked. "You look really familiar!" he said. Then he said: "But no." "Oh," I said, smelling clove cigarettes on his breath and immediately deciding I was superior to him, "so you were just fucking with me?" "Yeah," he said, revealing gray teeth and the undeniable truth that clove cigarettes are a bad idea always and forever. "I'm Sasha," he said, and extended his hand. "I'm Vagine*," I said, shaking it. I looked at him, I looked at his girl. "I'm Paige," she said. "Okay," I said, "now we know who we are. Glad we solved that mystery."

Then I walked away, both ashamed and in love with myself.



*pronounced va-jean.