NEUPHEMISMS

I like to invent words and phrases as much if not more than I enjoy plagiarizing other people's clever lingo and turns of phrase (or is it turn of phrases?), and today, oh boy today, did I ever invent a new euphemism (see: the title of this post for a pun which makes me extremely proud) which makes me extremely proud. Sorry dudes, this one's not for you, it's for The Ladies, and it's kind of gross but kind of beautiful and it relates to food which is why it's here and enough with the build-up!

"Dropping My Caviar"

It's for The Ladies for when they're On The Rag (a not-so-nice euphemism).
Or when they're Riding The Crimson Tide (a beachy, sporty, euphemism).
Or if they're entertaining a Visit From Aunt Flow (a very gracious, hospitable, euphemism).
Or if they've got The Bleedies (a not very euphemistic euphemism).
Or if they're menstruating.

I like it because it sounds really luxurious, you know? Caviar. So chic!

Look, I am BEYOND AWARE that no one will ever order my personal Beluga at a fancy restaurant, pay hundreds of dollars fo the smallest ounce of it, and smear it on blinis with a dab of creme fraiche (that would be HORRIFIC). But there's something a little bit refined about "Dropping My Caviar", right? I mean, it beats "The Monthly Blobbies".