SWINGS

Tuesdays start with the talking cure and tears. Therapy's expensive in general, but therapy is especially expensive for me because afterwards I always reward myself with some sort of breakfast indulgence. I do this because crying is exhausting and it makes me hungry, and now that I think about it crying probably makes a lot of people hungry, which is why there is always so much food at funerals.

I don't know what it is, and this makes me feel like some sort of General Foods International Coffee-drinking stereotype, but I like a Little Something after spending forty-five minutes rehashing all my early traumas and relating them to my present difficulties! It makes me feel SO ALIVE when I go to Starbucks for my once-a-week Cinnamon Dolce Latte (skim, of course. I'm indulgent but it's not like I'm ready to take a flying leap into Sodom and Gomorrah!). I'm REALLY LIVING when I GO FOR IT and purchase a toasted whole wheat bagel with vegetable cream cheese (again, low-fat, because, let's face it: I'm a lot like Lot).

Today was an especially epiphanic emotional chimney sweep which means that A) I have cry-snot on my shirt and B) I was super-hungry afterwards. So, when my boss brought in a bag of all-natural cider donuts from Brooklyn's Greenmarket, I WENT FOR IT by indulging in FOUR of them. I had already had my bagel-with-a-lite-shmear but, these donuts: so good! And, why not? I cried earlier! But: lest you think I'm some sort of future-bulimic (bad) or future-fatty (maybe bad, depending on your feelings about fat people), the donuts were kind of small. The only problem was that I didn't have any coffee with me at the time that I ate them and I very gently asked my coworker if I could dunk my donut in her coffee. She said no. Which is just as well because it means I have something to cry about at next week's session.