Wednesday, April 12, 2006

BOOGER-EATER

Quick confession: I didn't drink that Yogi tea. In fact, I didn't even open the box. I got so sleepy after writing the last blog entry that I naturally fell into a state of "relaxed unconcern" and didn't need any additional help. This could mean one of two things: I bore myself so much that I induce myself to sleep (!!!), or, more likely, I am not so bad off. I realize now that not eating enough makes one prone to tears and crankiness. That's SIMPLE BIOLOGY, and I had forgotten it. SCIENCE: it's the BEST!

And while my appetite makes its way back to me in shy, dainty steps, there is one thing that I have been ravenous for: my nails.

I have a bad bad truly disgusting bad bad habit of biting my nails. This habit has been with me all my life, and all my life I wish I could quit it. I see the beautiful healthy nails and cuticles of other women and I admire their restraint. Or is it just random luck? Maybe they have nice nails but are addicted to porn! Yes, that must be it. EVERYONE has one bad habit, right? Well, mine is that I nibble my own fingers. DISGUSTING!

I recently had a successful bout of quitting cold turkey, and at that time I achieved such awesome nail growth that my hands seemed foreign to me. And I couldn't stop waving them around and showing people, which, honestly, is the very pith of dorkdom. But I was very impressed with myself for such a small thing (which to me felt like a big thing), which, I suppose, is also in line with dorkdom.

But now I've fallen off the wagon into a field of nail-biting, cuticle-destroying bad-habitry. I'm thinking about quitting again, but it involves such purposeful refocusing of my behaviors that I really have to rev up for it. So I'm revving! And also, I'll admit it: there's something masochistically pleasurable about eating one's own stuff. People DO eat their own boogers, even though THAT is truly deplorable. Hey, at least I'm not a booger-eater!

Yet.

3 Comments:

Blogger Glennis said...

Yes, I remember what a huge deal it was when I had quit for a while too. I remember you even commented on it! But alas, I have fallen off the wagon and am again biting.

12:34 PM  
Blogger crabbydad said...

Here is your salvation:

http://www.stopbitingnails.com/

It's simple -- just spread a little cream on your cuticles that tastes just like ass. Even if you could, you wouldn't bite your ass, now would you? Of course not. Problem solved.

Of course you could also just become a wood shop teacher and saw the tips of your fingers right off. That would work, too.

1:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Now that's why we like reading you. All Megan All the Time. Seduced by a food blog, we naive foodies are now treated to our favorite writer describing the exploits of her....eating herself.
Ever think about pushing the envelope a bit?

11:38 PM  

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