Tuesday, April 04, 2006

TASTY LITTLE CHEWIES

That's what my Kashi Trail Mix bar promised on its wrapper. Besides its 4g of Fiber and 5g of Protein, it had me at "tasty little chewies," because a) I love tasty! b) I currently have the capacity to eat very little and c) I'm not gonna say no to a "chewy", singular or plural.

A CHEWY. Come on, you know that sounds totally sexual, which for me is a total bonus!

I'm like a ten year old boy or a dirty old man in that respect; I become genuinely titillated (that's a good word!) by foods that are accompanied by any sort of sexual innuendo. Let's be honest: I'm not that into granola bars, but I am DEFINITELY into something called a Tasty Little Chewy. Even though, as I chew on this birdseed-buckwheat-chicory-nutblast as a cow chews its cud, I'm the furthest thing from anything that could ever be considered sexy. But I continue to sneak glances at that wrapper, and I keep getting the most miniscule charge out of it.

Seriously, what is wrong with me?

4 Comments:

Blogger garin said...

There's nothing wrong with you at all!! I think your fine!!!!! Are you gnna audiotn for the "new" Wonder Woman movie?? I think you'd bring a more sarcastic, and tolerable performance and really that's what the world's been waiting for!(plus your good-looking!!)My friends say I remind them alot of the "Apache"Chief except I'm shorter,not an indian and have more clothing on!!!other than that the simalarities are strinking!! "Enuch Chuck"

10:23 AM  
Blogger garin said...

god my spelling sucks!!! sorry everyone..

11:05 AM  
Blogger crabbydad said...

Perhaps you might want to follow up your "Tasty Little Chewies" with some "Spotted Dick," a side of "Cheese Nips," a "Bun" candy bar for dessert and a nice tall glass of "Dry Sack" on the rocks.

3:09 PM  
Blogger Megan said...

touche, chocky.

tou. che.

4:38 PM  

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