LADY-DATE
I went to dinner with a new lady-friend on Thursday! I love dinner-dates, and I have, in the last few months, especially enjoyed my lady dinner-dates. And not just because I don't have to worry about shaving my armpits beforehand, but that is a big part of it. There's less pressure in dining platonically with a lady, although on Thursday night you wouldn't have known it by looking at me or my behavior. Because it was a FIRST DATE, I spent some time in my boudoir nervously preparing my outfit and maquillage. I wanted to look cute! I wanted to look cool! I wanted the date to GO WELL! I even wore a DRESS, though it was Thunderstorm Central outside. The dress was a totally good idea, until, on my way to Union Square I walked over a subway grate and, a la Marilyn in Seven Year Itch, my entire dress blew up over my head, causing me to flash 100 indifferent strangers. I'm not sure which was worse: the flashing or their indifference. I literally squealed for about 30 seconds as I tried to recover. Then I found my date, making no mention of the Incident. That wouldn't be the first time during this date that I acted sort of shady. Really.
My date wanted to go to Friend House, a pan-asian restaurant that I've eaten at exactly once. Never returned because I didn't like it. But because this was a FIRST DATE and I wanted it to go well I LIED AND SAID I'D NEVER BEEN AND THAT IT SOUNDED GOOD. I know: WTF?! It's not like I needed to lie to get my date to sleep with me, but I lied to BE EASY and so we went to Friend House, a pan-asian restaurant that, again, was not so great. And I realized, as my date and I ate our dinner, that for many people dinner-dates are NOT ABOUT THE FOOD; they are about Conversation and Getting To Know Each Other Better. And that is a LESSON for someone like me, a person who is often MORE INTERESTED IN FOOD THAN PEOPLE. As we ordered, I betrayed myself AGAIN by acting enthusiastic about a shared appetizer that I knew my date was really into but that I was totally not. And I'm still deciding if doing this makes me a weirdo liar or socially adaptable or actually a nice person. I'm usually so bossy about ordering and just KNOW what's good, but my priority on Thursday was to cultivate a pleasant relationship, not eat a single, satisfying meal. I think...I'm...growing...up? Must be, because at the end of the date, which extended nicely to a bar for drinks and MORE conversation, my new friend and I exchanged numbers and enthusiastically said "Let's do this again!" Success, right?!
FULL DISCLOSURE: Neither my date nor I have reached out to each other to say we had fun. We haven't called or e-mailed. Which is something you'd expect/do with a guy, right? But I don't think that means we won't do it again. I think it just means that with platonic dates, you don't have to abide by the same social rules that you do with romantic dates. I think. I hope she calls!
My date wanted to go to Friend House, a pan-asian restaurant that I've eaten at exactly once. Never returned because I didn't like it. But because this was a FIRST DATE and I wanted it to go well I LIED AND SAID I'D NEVER BEEN AND THAT IT SOUNDED GOOD. I know: WTF?! It's not like I needed to lie to get my date to sleep with me, but I lied to BE EASY and so we went to Friend House, a pan-asian restaurant that, again, was not so great. And I realized, as my date and I ate our dinner, that for many people dinner-dates are NOT ABOUT THE FOOD; they are about Conversation and Getting To Know Each Other Better. And that is a LESSON for someone like me, a person who is often MORE INTERESTED IN FOOD THAN PEOPLE. As we ordered, I betrayed myself AGAIN by acting enthusiastic about a shared appetizer that I knew my date was really into but that I was totally not. And I'm still deciding if doing this makes me a weirdo liar or socially adaptable or actually a nice person. I'm usually so bossy about ordering and just KNOW what's good, but my priority on Thursday was to cultivate a pleasant relationship, not eat a single, satisfying meal. I think...I'm...growing...up? Must be, because at the end of the date, which extended nicely to a bar for drinks and MORE conversation, my new friend and I exchanged numbers and enthusiastically said "Let's do this again!" Success, right?!
FULL DISCLOSURE: Neither my date nor I have reached out to each other to say we had fun. We haven't called or e-mailed. Which is something you'd expect/do with a guy, right? But I don't think that means we won't do it again. I think it just means that with platonic dates, you don't have to abide by the same social rules that you do with romantic dates. I think. I hope she calls!
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