Sunday, July 22, 2007


You're asking for trouble if you go to El Sombrero (aka "The Hat") with two of your favorite girls and order TWO PITCHERS of frozen strawberry margaritas. You're asking for trouble if you make quick work of those pitchers and afterwards pass by a tiny Japanese restaurant advertising $7 Sake Bombs. Because you will be forced to stop inside the tiny Japanese restaurant wherein you (me) will drink (chug) a Sake Bomb and then finish up half of another Sake Bomb because it is very clear that you (I) are (am) the alcoholic in the group as evidenced by your (my) neverending tolerance (inability to "feel the buzz"). You're asking for trouble if you pass by American Apparal while three sheets to the wind because you (we) will go inside and purchase MATCHING GREEN UNITARDS and color-coordinated terrycloth spa bathrobes and WEAR SAID GET-UPS OUT OF THE STORE. You're just asking for it, you're really asking for it if you (we) show up at a very crowded party in the aforementioned get-ups and CONTINUE TO DRINK. Because one girl will quickly go home to vomit, and the two of you remaining will have about an hour's worth of fun before it becomes very clear that the best venue for such ridiculous outfits is the bedroom. And not for kinky reasons but for passed-out-drunk-gripping-a-vibrating-cellphone-which-nevertheless-fails-to-wake-you-(me)-up reasons.