Tuesday, August 07, 2007


I don't know what's wrong with me but if I'm not eating then I'm thinking about eating and if I'm not thinking about eating then I am looking at pictures of food porn on the internet and coaxing myself into a state of stomach-arousal and if I am not doing that then I am probably killing time until the next time that I can eat again.

Why, just this past the week I surreptitiously ate french fries out of a garbage can (AT WORK! BUT! I knew the owner of both the garbage and the fries and they were clean and untouched and even though I'm not a Freegan for that moment I was one) and then I sat in a really stinky restaurant because I so wanted its ramen soup that I was willing to forgive its malodorous odor even though it put off my companion and if THAT'S not shameful enough then this is: as I write this I am STARVING and my stomach won't give up the ghost it is bottomless it is a slavedriver and I just fed it not 20 minutes ago so COME ON YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS, ME!