Saturday, February 18, 2006


One of my most favorite movies is Robert Altman's live-action Popeye. I was pretty much a toddler when I first saw it, and it blew my baby-mind! First of all, I'm a little obsessed with the character of Popeye. Out of all the sailor-men, Popeye is the one who must EAT in order to SUCCEED. You remember, don't you? He's "strong to the finish-ke 'cause [he] eats [his] spinach-ke!" Growing up, Popeye's strength-ke from spinach-ke became a fundamental life lesson to me, and it's continued to shape the core of my personality. It is only through FOOD that we become STRONG. That is POWERFUL!

Altman's Popeye is also one of only a few film musicals that I truly adore, and that's because the soundtrack was written by GENIUS songwriter Harry Nilsson. This Harry is One To Watch. I mean, he GETS IT! At least, he GETS ME!

Here are the lyrics to the song Food, Food, Food, which is as close to my life's philosophy as you're likely to find:

Everything is food, food, food
Everything is food to go
Everything is food for thought
Everything you knead is dough

It is food
Everything is food

Everything is meat, meat, meat
Careful what you put on your feet
Once it lived on an animal
Now it walks along with you
It could be food
Food, food, food

It is food
Everything is food

Everything is upside down now
Everything is sunny side up
It's ubiquitous
Enigmatic and
They can't trick us
With no hot dogmatic

It is food, food, food
And it's full of flavor
Food, food, food
It's so good to savor

Everything is food, food, food
Everything is upside down
Everything is sunny side up
It's ubiquitous
Enigmatic and
They can't trick us
With no hot dogmatic

It's food, food, food
Make no mistake about it
Food, food, food

Never ever doubt it
Food, food, food
Everything is food


I will give you a minute to wipe the bits of bloody gray matter off your computer screen, 'cause I know YOUR HEAD JUST EXPLODED!

You've got to HEAR this song to truly appreciate it. Wimpy, that burger-loving scamp, sings underneath the chorus, "I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today," and honestly: Wimpy is the kind of man a girl like me could fall in love with. I know he's got a problem with the burgers and the paying for them, but I LOVE him for this weakness because IT IS MY WEAKNESS, TOO.

Unfortunately, the Popeye Soundtrack is NOTORIOUSLY difficult to come by. I'm fortunate that my parents have it on first-edition vinyl, and believe me that it has been well-played over the years. But if you ever come across it, BUY IT, because EVERY SONG is AMAZING AMAZING AMAZING.

Or you could just get a hold of the film. Which you should do. I know I seem to be doing a lot of schilling for Popeye in this entry, but that's only because he needs me, he needs me, he needs me...

Thursday, February 16, 2006


I hurt my friend's feelings this week. I didn't mean to, but sometimes intention doesn't matter; sometimes it's all about results.

And while I wish I could take back all the ways I hurt my friend, I did learn something very important: when making up, make up over mutually-appreciated delicious food!

It makes the making up easier. It makes the making up better. While you're avoiding eye contact for awhile, you can focus on your perfectly double-fried fries and your mouthgasmly buttered and grilled hamburger bun.

I must warn you that there will be moments where the food will go uneaten. You're at risk of losing your appetite when emotions are high. There was a time during my making up where my glorious cheeseburger remained half-eaten, and it lay cold on its wax paper for a good twenty minutes. And that's saying something for me, the Chief Operating Officer of the Clean Plate Company. As the making up moved forward, I regained my appetite, and the cheeseburger came to a sudden and unfortunate end. Luckily, my friendship did not.

So don't hurt your friends' feelings. But if you do, I recommend a cheeseburger and fries well-done to mediate. Really.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006


Oh my gosh!


I'm having palpitations!

The ADORABLE Korean graphic design intern at LOGO just stepped into the edit suite and handed me and my editor red-foil-covered hollow chocolate roses!
I have never been so charmed in my life!
And she just gave me a valentine FOR NO REASON!
My heart is full to bursting!
But my stomach is empty!
So I'm eating the hollow chocolate rose!
It is Dove milk chocolate!



Good stuff.

Monday, February 13, 2006


I thought I wasn't but I think I'm becoming a little bit of a muncher! A muncher is one who MUNCHES on YUMMY NIBBLIES thoughout the day.

I am not a throughout-the-day muncher.
I am a late-night muncher.

Can you guess which YUMMY NIBBLIES from the list* below are my favorite things to MUNCH on?

Golden Grahams
Tostitos Hint of Lime Tortilla Chips
Ecstasy Pills
Melted Cheese on Bread
Honey Nut Cheerios
Leftover Chinese Dumplings
The Last Remaining Crumbs Of My Self Respect
Corn Pops
Cold Pizza
Guaco Loco Chicken Taco
Assorted Crudite Dipped In Japanese Ginger Dressing

*Ha! Ha! That was a trick list! NOBODY likes CEREAL that much!