Saturday, January 14, 2006


Why are you so good? My love for you is EXACTLY like Jack's and Ennis' in Brokeback Mountain: our affair has endured years, other cities, the strange looks of my parents and friends, and you make me do things I never thought I'd do, like wake up after 2 hours of sleep.

The only way I know how to give you up is cold turkey, and your green-tea replacement, while "healthy" and "hetero-normal," is just not as satisfying. I love you in my mouth, Coffee. Even though you make my breath smell bad, and you stain my teeth, I love you in my mouth. I love the way you smell; I want to dab you on my pulse points like perfume. I love you cold with lots of cream. I love you with a scoop of Breyer's in you. I love you French Pressed, I love you Instant. I love you in the morning, first thing, and I love you at night, before I go to bed. I love the sound my spoon makes as it digs into your cool grinds. I love you, Coffee...Let's never break up.

Friday, January 13, 2006


Here's an easy one - if you're gonna shell out the money on Starbucks or any fancy coffee shop beverage, do what I do: order an Americano instead of regular coffee. It's espresso mixed with hot water, and it is -- much like baby bottoms and porn star poonanie -- much much smoother.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006


Hey guess what? Sometimes a couple of glasses of Red Truck 2004 Red Wine Alc. 13.5% By Volume IS a satisfying dinner.

Making The Most Of It,


This place is good for the belly and the wallet. I have no empirical proof, but I strongly suspect that I'm their best Caucasian customer, and that's because I am also probably their only Jewish customer. So there's some law of syllogism in all this: I LOVE Korean food, and I love paying very LITTLE for it. Woorjip, being cheap AND delicious, has won a place in my belly's heart.

By the way, my belly has a heart, and it loves. It loves food.

Woorijip's in Koreatown, on 32nd Street between 5th and Broadway, and like a lot of places in the area, they're a 24-7 operation. Most of their food is pre-prepared, which means you'll be seeing a lot of styrofoam, plastic containers, and plastic wrap. But don't freak out, because that environmentally genocidal packaging contains huge portions of just-made bibimbab (fried rice), bulgolgi (grilled beef), spicy tofu or stir-fried squid stews, assorted mandoo (dumplings), kimchee with pork or beef, japchai (stir-fried noodles), gimbab (Korean maki), and like, so so so much more. There's even a hot and cold buffet with an incredible variety of food. And when you consider the prices (you will get stuffed on $ will FEAST on $7) -- well, I must insist that you go here.

Woorijjip, 12 W. 32nd Street, NYC