Thursday, January 18, 2007


So "getting tagged" or "tagging" aren't terms limited to when one is speaking about graffiti or sex; one can also use either/or when speaking about blogs? The answer is yes.

I was "tagged" by Katie Schorr to list five things that you don't know about me. While it feels a bit like participating in a chain-letter, I'm not enough of a wet blanket to not participate.

1. I am a very old soul but a very late bloomer. Go figure.

2. I check my horoscope every month. Then I check the horoscopes of people close to me. I get anxious or excited, depending. I am ashamed of all of this, but not enough to stop doing it.

3. You know those "getting your first period" nightmare stories? Here's another. I was fourteen and in the middle of an AUDITION to be part of a TOURING DANCE COMPANY. In a LEOTARD. During a HIGH-KICK COMBO IT started happening. I excused myself and in the bathroom I realized that I was a woman. I was a woman all over my LEOTARD. So I "cleaned up", crammed some toilet paper in my crotch, and went back to the audition. BOTCHED IT! While waiting to hear about callbacks, some other girls and I got to chatting. We sat on the floor in a circle and they all started talking about when they got their first period. "When did you get yours?" This was asked by Georgina, the prettiest, most developed, least-likely-to-get-her-period-during-an-audition girl in the group. "Uh, right now," I said. "What?!" All the girls were appalled. "Yeah, today." "Today?! During the audition?!" "Yes." "You got your first period right NOW?!" "YES! NOW! IT'S HAPPENING NOW!"

When my mom came to pick me up she asked,"How was the audition?" and I burst immediately into tears. I didn't make the dance company, but that has not stopped me from high-kicking it and making jazz-hands. Or getting my period. I just don't wear LEOTARDS when I do it.

4. I was a real ham as a kid. After dinner I would disappear from the table, put my hair in braids, and run full-speed back into the kitchen screeching "IT'S PIPPI LONGSTOCKING TIME!!!" I would then regale my family with stories about what I, Pippi Longstocking, had done that day. Mostly adventure tales with my animal friends, if you must know. My family tolerated this a really really long time.

5. I am a twin.

Now: Cod.

I cooked it last night, and it came out AWESOME. I am so proud of myself I really can't help but brag about how good it was! And so SIMPLE to make! I put two defrosted filets in aluminum foil, dusted them with an Old Bay-type seasoning, a pinch of salt, and some ground pepper. Then I laid them on pats of butter and covered them with lemon slices. Added a little olive oil for moisture. Tented the alumninum foil, put it on a baking sheet, and set it in a 400 degree oven for 20 minutes. They came out DELISH -- moist (I hate that word, but that's what they were, they were moist. I'm just being accurate), lemony, buttery, very yummy yummy, and there was no fishy smell in my kitchen!

Then the best thing happened, my friend called to ask me what I was up to. I said I was up to cooking, and I invited him over to eat. He'd already eaten, but he said he'd "watch me eat." This was The Best, because 1) I now had a witness to my GLORIOUS COOKING and 2) he bought a good bottle of Italian white. Allow me to brag some more: my friend, upon looking at the fish, said "it looks great!" This was BEFORE he drank half a bottle of wine, so I know he wasn't lying! I made him Nutella on Tea Biscuits for dessert. Yes, I am VERY CLASSY and EUROPEAN.

I now cannot wait to cook more; this was such a nice confidence boost! Aw, I just kissed my biceps, gave myself a high-five, and whispered "You rule," to myself.

I know, I know: Such. A. Dork.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007


I was invited to be someone's date at a chili "cook-off" on Sunday night. I think I was a pretty good date, because I was complimentary without being fawning, polite without being stuck-up, and attentive without being cloying. I think I was all these things because my date was a platonic girl friend. I am always at my best when stakes are low! I even danced to a number of songs that came up on Oh! Air Karaoke (yes, it was That Kind Of Cook-Off), and after four bowls of chili that is no easy feat.

Now, this wasn't really a chili "cook-off". I mean, the chili was provided and cooked by only one person, and unless he was competing against himself (which he may have been; some people strive for excellence in all that they do), there was no real element of competition. Which isn't to say the chili wasn't top notch! 'Cause it was!

There were four kinds: White Chicken, Veggie Beef (which means that the "beef" was soy, not actually derived from a moo-cow), Spicy Vegetable, and Southwestern Chicken. The White Chicken was my favorite, but only because any savory food that tastes like a hot bowl of spicy ice-cream is tops in my book. What I mean by that is the White Chicken had a lot of dairy (cheese and sour cream). I made the bold choice to mix the White Chicken with the Veggie Beef (inspired by Vodka Sauce -- Red + Creamy = Pink and Dreamy), and this "bold choice" was rewarded with an even bolder tummy ache. Or maybe it was because of all the corn in the various chilis? I ate a lot of chili, therefore I ate a lot of corn. Oh Man, it was good, but Man Alive! I was Feelin' It later.

Which leads me to my next subject: Activia. Activia is Dannon's newest yogurt product, and it claims to "help naturally regulate your digestive system". I'm not sure what that means, but my mother is. She bought me a case of the stuff at Costco because my mother -- like your mother, and all mothers since the dawn of mothering -- is EXTREMELY concerned about the intestinal health of her offspring. And so, I've been put on a 14-day regimen of Activia because it will help me clear out toxins and, and according to my mother, "roto-rooter" my system. I'm not sure I even need to "roto-rooter" my system, but, then again, it couldn't hurt, right?

I took my first one today. I say "took" like it's medicine, but I didn't "take" it, I ate it. It's yogurt! It was peach flavored. Tasted like yogurt! So far, so good. I do harbor the slightest fear that I will have immediate and explosive diarrhea on the subway sometime today, but, if that's what it takes to clear my intestinal clutter then it will be well worth it. Sorry in advance, F train!